When Eric first proposed to me, it was kind of a harried and rushed affair. We had agreed that we were going to get married; indeed I think that everyone who saw us together knew that we were meant for each other. But we "came out," so to speak, when his Mother was very ill in the hospital, and there was a chance that she might not make it through the night. We decided to tell her because she set a great store by us joining together permanently.
Anne did live for about 8 months more, but the secret was out. I asked Eric that, when we got my ring, if he would propose properly to me once again. He promised he would, and that was that.
Quite some time later, I teased him that he should come to Slimmons and propose there. Ask Richard for my hand in marriage since my father has been gone for over a decade and there was nobody to go to. At first, Eric was hesitant, but later he saw the humor in the whole idea and agreed to go along.
Fast forward to this week. My ring, oh my ring! It arrived and it is a beauty! I'll post about it soon with pictures to boot. Claudia and I were chatting on Skype when Eric walked into the room with it, so she was the first - and only - one to see it that day. I put it on and wore it immediately. But I still wanted my proposal complete with the presentation of the ring.
Today I got the proposal I was waiting for. You have to understand, I have been harassing Richard in the name of the Frito Bandito for well over a year now. He even was a member of Richard's internet Clubhouse for a while, and did a lot of independent posting himself. There was even one memorable evening when he attended one of Richard's chat, and during that chat which I also attended, he declared his love for me and his intention to marry Senorita Laura. I thought it was very funny and so did a lot of people although he was controversial that night as he had become in bulletin boards.
So without further ado, I present to you the Proposal of Marriage that I received this morning.
What was my answer? YES, of course!!!!!! How could I turn down a man who would dress like that just for me and be seen in public walking the streets of Beverly Hills 90210?
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Lacing Up
We had the appointment today. Lana says that I am measuring in the waist 3" smaller than my first appointment two weeks ago, and with that, today's appointment with Eric getting his lace-up lesson, my dress is finished and once again back in my posession. I do need to have it cleaned and pressed, though. Thank goodness for Angie's List! I have no idea where a good dry cleaner in my neighborhood is located.
After the alteration appointment, I went for a manicure. That's right, gals from Slimmons. Code Word: I HAD A MANICURE. You know what that means.
The pathetic part is that tonight, I will spend at least an hour gluing the artwork of Annie Becwar to the fronts of my invitations. This process is done via spray adhesive, and when it gets on my hands, it's very hard to get off. I sure hope that I remember to put on rubber gloves before starting. You'd think that would be easy, but it's not.
More tomorrow...
After the alteration appointment, I went for a manicure. That's right, gals from Slimmons. Code Word: I HAD A MANICURE. You know what that means.
The pathetic part is that tonight, I will spend at least an hour gluing the artwork of Annie Becwar to the fronts of my invitations. This process is done via spray adhesive, and when it gets on my hands, it's very hard to get off. I sure hope that I remember to put on rubber gloves before starting. You'd think that would be easy, but it's not.
More tomorrow...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Altering Plans
Last Friday, I had my second appointment at Lana's Alterations, where I am having my Wedding Gown refitted. I was referred to Lana's by my good friend Temmy, who's taste is exquisite, and I figured I didn't have to shop around if she endorsed them. I was absolutely correct in my trust. Lana is a gem. Lana is a doll. Lana is an artist with a needle and thread.
In the first appointment, I explained to Lana that my weight was traveling around, but I did not know, due to medications and illness, whether it was going to end up being up, down, or stay the same by the date of the wedding. The wedding gown was too small in the waist; it was too poofy in the skirt, and for an outdoor wedding in a forest (Yosemite), the Cathetral Train was just too much. The back of the dress was a zipper with faux buttons running down the top, and had three bustles. It was absolutely beautiful. I still can't believe that Suzanne and Jennifer gifted the dress to me.
When I tried it on at Slimmons, we were all in agreement that something significant had to be done to make the dress fit. All of us were of the same thought and mind... add panels between the side seams of the bodice to enlarge it. There would be plenty of extra fabric in the train to do so. But when I explained this to Lana, she shook her head and refused to go that route. She had a better idea. Rather than adding panels in the sides which would make the dress clearly look like it was enlarged, she would instead remove the zipper and buttons. Then she would insert a "V" of fabric in the opening, attach a series of loops on either side, and set the dress up as a lace-up instead of zip up. That way, if my weight fluctuates - which it is doing, I can simply tie it tighter or looser. She's a genius! I was dismissed from my first appointment with instructions to show up at the 2nd again with the strapless bra, but also my shoes. I did.
I put the dress on again, noting that Lana was indeed a genius with her idea. It looked like it had never been tampered with, but in fact, fit beautifully in the waist. But Lana made a pronouncement, and an important one it was. "You've lost weight since last week!" she said. And indeed, it was true. I was down two pounds!
So instead of just measuring for the hem of the dress, we now had to add darts into the top of the bodice to adjust for my smaller size. I was dismissed again, and instructed to show up next week (tomorrow) at 1pm with my fiancee Eric. Because of the style closure of the dress, there is no way I can put myself into or let myself out of the dress on my own. He will need to be trained in lacing up bodices - lol!
This week, the scale has remained rock steady. However, I can feel my clothes getting a little looser again. I don't know what will happen when I climb on tomorrow morning. However, a looser-than-planned wedding gown is certainly a better outcome than one that doesn't fit on my wedding day.
Eric is a good sport. He is going along with the lace-up lesson, and indeed, Lana says that a few fiancee's are involved and usually enjoy the process. I hope he does. I want nothing but happiness for the both of us.
(Wedding Gown Images from the Alfred Angelo Web Site. Thank you Alfred!)
In the first appointment, I explained to Lana that my weight was traveling around, but I did not know, due to medications and illness, whether it was going to end up being up, down, or stay the same by the date of the wedding. The wedding gown was too small in the waist; it was too poofy in the skirt, and for an outdoor wedding in a forest (Yosemite), the Cathetral Train was just too much. The back of the dress was a zipper with faux buttons running down the top, and had three bustles. It was absolutely beautiful. I still can't believe that Suzanne and Jennifer gifted the dress to me.
When I tried it on at Slimmons, we were all in agreement that something significant had to be done to make the dress fit. All of us were of the same thought and mind... add panels between the side seams of the bodice to enlarge it. There would be plenty of extra fabric in the train to do so. But when I explained this to Lana, she shook her head and refused to go that route. She had a better idea. Rather than adding panels in the sides which would make the dress clearly look like it was enlarged, she would instead remove the zipper and buttons. Then she would insert a "V" of fabric in the opening, attach a series of loops on either side, and set the dress up as a lace-up instead of zip up. That way, if my weight fluctuates - which it is doing, I can simply tie it tighter or looser. She's a genius! I was dismissed from my first appointment with instructions to show up at the 2nd again with the strapless bra, but also my shoes. I did.
I put the dress on again, noting that Lana was indeed a genius with her idea. It looked like it had never been tampered with, but in fact, fit beautifully in the waist. But Lana made a pronouncement, and an important one it was. "You've lost weight since last week!" she said. And indeed, it was true. I was down two pounds!
So instead of just measuring for the hem of the dress, we now had to add darts into the top of the bodice to adjust for my smaller size. I was dismissed again, and instructed to show up next week (tomorrow) at 1pm with my fiancee Eric. Because of the style closure of the dress, there is no way I can put myself into or let myself out of the dress on my own. He will need to be trained in lacing up bodices - lol!
This week, the scale has remained rock steady. However, I can feel my clothes getting a little looser again. I don't know what will happen when I climb on tomorrow morning. However, a looser-than-planned wedding gown is certainly a better outcome than one that doesn't fit on my wedding day.
Eric is a good sport. He is going along with the lace-up lesson, and indeed, Lana says that a few fiancee's are involved and usually enjoy the process. I hope he does. I want nothing but happiness for the both of us.
(Wedding Gown Images from the Alfred Angelo Web Site. Thank you Alfred!)
Monday, September 6, 2010
The Devil's In the Details
Friday was a big day. I had an appointment to have my wedding dress altered.
Now some of you know the sad saga of the beginning of my wedding dress hunt, if you don't, I'm not going to go into it here, but you can find my story on Yelp if you really need to know. The point of the matter is that the journey to a dress ended happily. Thanks to the incredible generosity of my great friend Suzanne, I have a new wedding dress that is far more beautiful than anything I would have ever bought for myself. The only issue is that with my weight gain and then now my fluctuating weight (as in we identified the issue that was keeping me from losing and it's now coming off but we don't know how much will come or how long it's going to take), the dress didn't fit in the waist. Additionally, when I tried it on at Slimmons, Richard immediately suggested that the skirt be smoothed out and made less puffy.
Alteration of wedding dresses is apparently a standard practice anyway, so I asked around and through another wonderful friend Temmy, I was referred to Lana's Alterations in Tarzana. I initially took the dress there last week but Lana was not there. Her assistant was,though, and made me an appointment for yesterday with instructions to bring a strapless bra and the shoes I intended to wear for the fitting. After all, there was not any point in doing the alterations without the proper undergarments, and we couldn't possibly know how long to make it without knowing what heels I was going to wear.
Point well taken. I immediately headed out to Nordstrom's and obtained the bra. It turned out, thanks to their well-known expert staff, to be a completely painless process.
But not so the shoes. Fall is here. There are not white shoes to be had, especially in a ballet slipper style which is what I prefer to wear. After all, we're getting married in Yosemite. A forest. Even if my knees would support heels, which they won't, I'd kill myself walking on a forest floor in them. And so I showed up to the appointment, bra in hand but shoeless.
Lana turned out to be WONDERFUL! Where Suzanne and Kathy and I had envisioned her adding panels into the side seams to let the dress out, she had a better idea. She is going to change the back of the dress into a lace-up rather than the zipper with decorative buttons that is there now. That way, as my weight changes - hopefully for the better, I can adjust the dress accordingly. Additionally, she agreed. The skirt is too puffy, and she can fix that.
We did an initial measurement for the hem, but since I didn't have the shoes, we could not lock in to the length. Not a problem, though. We can finish that at my next appointment, this coming Friday.
The best part is that immediately after visiting Lana, I spoke to Eric, found out that all was calm at the home front, and decided to immediately head over to the Northridge Mall and hunt for shoes again. And what did I find at Macy's?
OK, so they're not white. I can live with it. After all, these shoes are actually cute, fit well, and can be worn again after the wedding is over, with jeans. The dress is long so they'll be mostly covered anyway, they don't clash, and in truth, I've read a few articles where they suggest that the bride wear contrasting shoes just to kick things up notch. Whatever.
The bottom line is that now I have a bra (which I am going to embellish with beads), a dress, shoes, an alteration in progress, and Eric has made most of the Yosemite arrangements now.
Things are progressing at home (for another post), and best of all, I'm back at Slimmons. That's something that Eric predicted but I honestly didn't think was going to happen again.
All speed forward, the wedding is less than 5 weeks away.
Now some of you know the sad saga of the beginning of my wedding dress hunt, if you don't, I'm not going to go into it here, but you can find my story on Yelp if you really need to know. The point of the matter is that the journey to a dress ended happily. Thanks to the incredible generosity of my great friend Suzanne, I have a new wedding dress that is far more beautiful than anything I would have ever bought for myself. The only issue is that with my weight gain and then now my fluctuating weight (as in we identified the issue that was keeping me from losing and it's now coming off but we don't know how much will come or how long it's going to take), the dress didn't fit in the waist. Additionally, when I tried it on at Slimmons, Richard immediately suggested that the skirt be smoothed out and made less puffy.
Alteration of wedding dresses is apparently a standard practice anyway, so I asked around and through another wonderful friend Temmy, I was referred to Lana's Alterations in Tarzana. I initially took the dress there last week but Lana was not there. Her assistant was,though, and made me an appointment for yesterday with instructions to bring a strapless bra and the shoes I intended to wear for the fitting. After all, there was not any point in doing the alterations without the proper undergarments, and we couldn't possibly know how long to make it without knowing what heels I was going to wear.
Point well taken. I immediately headed out to Nordstrom's and obtained the bra. It turned out, thanks to their well-known expert staff, to be a completely painless process.
But not so the shoes. Fall is here. There are not white shoes to be had, especially in a ballet slipper style which is what I prefer to wear. After all, we're getting married in Yosemite. A forest. Even if my knees would support heels, which they won't, I'd kill myself walking on a forest floor in them. And so I showed up to the appointment, bra in hand but shoeless.
Lana turned out to be WONDERFUL! Where Suzanne and Kathy and I had envisioned her adding panels into the side seams to let the dress out, she had a better idea. She is going to change the back of the dress into a lace-up rather than the zipper with decorative buttons that is there now. That way, as my weight changes - hopefully for the better, I can adjust the dress accordingly. Additionally, she agreed. The skirt is too puffy, and she can fix that.
We did an initial measurement for the hem, but since I didn't have the shoes, we could not lock in to the length. Not a problem, though. We can finish that at my next appointment, this coming Friday.
The best part is that immediately after visiting Lana, I spoke to Eric, found out that all was calm at the home front, and decided to immediately head over to the Northridge Mall and hunt for shoes again. And what did I find at Macy's?
OK, so they're not white. I can live with it. After all, these shoes are actually cute, fit well, and can be worn again after the wedding is over, with jeans. The dress is long so they'll be mostly covered anyway, they don't clash, and in truth, I've read a few articles where they suggest that the bride wear contrasting shoes just to kick things up notch. Whatever.
The bottom line is that now I have a bra (which I am going to embellish with beads), a dress, shoes, an alteration in progress, and Eric has made most of the Yosemite arrangements now.
Things are progressing at home (for another post), and best of all, I'm back at Slimmons. That's something that Eric predicted but I honestly didn't think was going to happen again.
All speed forward, the wedding is less than 5 weeks away.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Catching Up
After participating in helping us unpack in our new home (hint: we still have some 300 boxes to open, go through, and place contents for), Adele informed Steve that they are never moving. This has been one of the toughest things I have ever done, and I've been through some hard things before.
First, just going from a single person with dogs into a household of six family members (including me) plus many pets. Everyone has their different habits, likes and dislikes, and agendas. I have not known quite how to deal with it all.
Unpacking and organizing in a consistent way that works for everyone has been almost impossible.
Training the kids to pick up after themselves, especially the older ones who Eric insists don't hate me but I think they have since the first day we moved in, is practically impossible.
Time commitments are terribly complex. My calendar is impossibly cluttered.
Not having any time for myself. As I was forced from Slimmons, the only place I had maintained for social contact as well as exercise as I waited for Eric to have free time from his stressful home life (I'm getting a better picture of it now), was a devastating blow. I had planned on it to be my escape a few hours a week from a life of turmoil; instead, I had no place to go and no one to turn to. Additionally, regular exercise alleviates depression and it has been very effective for me in the past. I am struggling mightily with it now, and it seems to be a losing battle.
At the same time, I know that this is where I am supposed to be; where I belong. I have not prepared my condo for rental yet and, in fact, need to make initial arrangements to do so today. But whatever, I knew the day that I left that it was over and forever done. I can't go back. You can't go "home" again.
So I am struggling and trying to make a home for all of us to the best of my ability. It is fraught with challenges far beyond what I thought I'd ever be capable of. But if I can pull this off, it still might be the most important job that I ever will have.
Time will tell.
First, just going from a single person with dogs into a household of six family members (including me) plus many pets. Everyone has their different habits, likes and dislikes, and agendas. I have not known quite how to deal with it all.
Unpacking and organizing in a consistent way that works for everyone has been almost impossible.
Training the kids to pick up after themselves, especially the older ones who Eric insists don't hate me but I think they have since the first day we moved in, is practically impossible.
Time commitments are terribly complex. My calendar is impossibly cluttered.
Not having any time for myself. As I was forced from Slimmons, the only place I had maintained for social contact as well as exercise as I waited for Eric to have free time from his stressful home life (I'm getting a better picture of it now), was a devastating blow. I had planned on it to be my escape a few hours a week from a life of turmoil; instead, I had no place to go and no one to turn to. Additionally, regular exercise alleviates depression and it has been very effective for me in the past. I am struggling mightily with it now, and it seems to be a losing battle.
At the same time, I know that this is where I am supposed to be; where I belong. I have not prepared my condo for rental yet and, in fact, need to make initial arrangements to do so today. But whatever, I knew the day that I left that it was over and forever done. I can't go back. You can't go "home" again.
So I am struggling and trying to make a home for all of us to the best of my ability. It is fraught with challenges far beyond what I thought I'd ever be capable of. But if I can pull this off, it still might be the most important job that I ever will have.
Time will tell.
Monday, July 19, 2010
I Haven't Forgotten You!
I'm so sorry! It's a lot harder to pack up and move than I had ever anticipated and I haven't had much time to blog. I haven't even been taking any pictures of the process, which gives you an indication of how hard I'm working. My only regret in that department is that I didn't take any pics of my condo before starting the packing process and now, when I finally thought about it, it's just a mess and a sea of boxes and I don't want to remember it this way.
The new home is amazing. We spend the day over there yesterday with family and friends helping us prepare it for our arrival. The dogs are dog-tired as only dogs can be, and I could barely rouse them for breakfast this morning. Since Lucy still doesn't have access to the pink sofa for all the boxes all over it, she is sleeping in my studio on the denim sofa. She starts out in bed with me every evening but becomes quickly annoyed with me and leaves me with a growl of contempt, the first time I turn over. Sensitive girl! And if she wasn't fixed, I'd say she had a permanent case of PMS in this regard.
I am moving on Friday; Eric & Kids will show up late next week. The piano is arriving early, on Wednesday. I don't plan to go to the new house today. I will drop off my last batch of too-fragile-to-entrust-with-movers tomorrow, early, before heading down to Cedars Sinai for my next infusion. Then I will come home, probably be sick as I am after every infusion, but force myself to continue with the packing process. Time is growing short.
And with that, I will sign of for now. When I find my camera, I will take pictures of the actual move. It should be a very "interesting" day.
The new home is amazing. We spend the day over there yesterday with family and friends helping us prepare it for our arrival. The dogs are dog-tired as only dogs can be, and I could barely rouse them for breakfast this morning. Since Lucy still doesn't have access to the pink sofa for all the boxes all over it, she is sleeping in my studio on the denim sofa. She starts out in bed with me every evening but becomes quickly annoyed with me and leaves me with a growl of contempt, the first time I turn over. Sensitive girl! And if she wasn't fixed, I'd say she had a permanent case of PMS in this regard.
I am moving on Friday; Eric & Kids will show up late next week. The piano is arriving early, on Wednesday. I don't plan to go to the new house today. I will drop off my last batch of too-fragile-to-entrust-with-movers tomorrow, early, before heading down to Cedars Sinai for my next infusion. Then I will come home, probably be sick as I am after every infusion, but force myself to continue with the packing process. Time is growing short.
And with that, I will sign of for now. When I find my camera, I will take pictures of the actual move. It should be a very "interesting" day.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I'm Leaving and I'm Not Coming Back
Last night, Risa came very late to walk the dogs, and she was genuinely distressed about the fact that this job - her taking my dogs out because I"m not consistently able to walk them and they are large and go stir crazy in my unit if they don't get out at least once a day - is ending. Soon. Next week. I don't know if it's just the financial aspect because I know that has to be troubling her too, but I hope that it's because she's come to enjoy visiting and if that's the trouble, that she will come and visit often at our new location and that she might even bring Tara for play dates with my dogs. It's a perfect set up for dogs.
I'm moving on July 23, have already started moving my meaningful artwork and other items that are fragile to the new house, and I have so many boxes gathered now on my pink sofa that I'll bet that Lucy is forced to spend the entire night in my bed tonight. My living room walls are mostly bare, and you can see how dirty the wall paper is from the whiter spots behind where the pictures hung. Once I am gone and Richard (Property Manager, Board Member, Neighbor Richard who will be acting in my stead and renting my unit for me) takes over, the wallpaper will come down in all the rooms, and all the awful things that I've been living with for years like the broken cabinetry in the kitchen will be repaired. I will rent this unit out until the market rebounds, at which time I plan to sell it. I'm not coming back. Ever.
The new house is a rental. The plan is to rent until the lease runs out in 18 months, and either buy it (maybe, maybe not depending on the market and also what else it out there) or something else. Eric's legal issues with his ex will hopefully be over and we will be free to make those decisions then. So it's weird to say I'm not ever coming back here when I know that where I am going is as likely not as it is where I will grow my new roots. I don't like to move a lot, and in fact have only lived in two places since I moved out of my parents home. I've lived here - with the exception of the 18 months when we had to rebuild the entire complex in the aftermath of the 1994 Northridge Earthquake - for 23 years. That's a long time.
Risa asked me if I was getting emotional about leaving. In all honesty, I'm not. I'm anxious to move on to my new life. I've learned a lot and grown here; I've grown up here. But I"m ready to go.
Risa even asked me if leaving the place where I lived with and loved my Cosmos so much will hurt. Actually, the whole Cosmos ending still hurts me way beyond I can comprehend and my heart is still broken over it. I've never had such a rough ending with a dog. I've lost dogs to all sorts of health issues, but the uncertainty of Kidney Failure, the feeling that if I just did a little bit more or if I had done it a little bit better which is a part of that syndrome is haunting me. But the fact is that when I have lost other dogs, I've felt their presence in my condo for long periods of time after they passed. I even thought on occasion that I might have seen their ghostly forms. But with Cozie, nothing. Nada. I think he was so done by the time that I released him from the agony of his earthly remains that he had no need to come back. Or maybe, because he did not want to leave me... of that I am absolutely sure, he felt betrayed and that's why he has never been around. But the fact is that except for the ashes in a canister kept where he used to eat, nothing remains of him except memories that still bring me to tears. So in a sense, I will be relieved to leave too. If he is out there somewhere, he can find me. That I am sure of.
No, I have no regrets about moving on. I have never been as sure of anything in my life as I am about my future with Eric. I am terrified of it. I fear that I will not be what he thought I was, that I will not do a good enough job with his kids. I'm scared that Sunny will fall in the pool that comes with the new home and drown, or the kids will leave the front gate and the front door open and Lucy will get out, all the way down to Parthenia, and get hit by a car. I'm afraid I"m not good enough for the opportunity that is being presented to me. But yet I am sure that going in this direction is the best thing that I will ever do, and am hopeful that it will work out. Eric has too much faith in me for it to fail.
So I will bid goodbye to this home and I hope that my friends and neighbors will come with me to my new abode. I would love for it to be a center for entertaining and visiting, and certainly the neighborhood has ample parking (unlike here) and the home has plenty of space for as many friends as I want, all at the same time, with or without their spinning wheels.
I will take Eric's hand and walk into the future, maybe not bravely, but with an assurance that I am doing the right thing. Because I'm sure I am.
See more pictures of our new home by clicking here.
I'm moving on July 23, have already started moving my meaningful artwork and other items that are fragile to the new house, and I have so many boxes gathered now on my pink sofa that I'll bet that Lucy is forced to spend the entire night in my bed tonight. My living room walls are mostly bare, and you can see how dirty the wall paper is from the whiter spots behind where the pictures hung. Once I am gone and Richard (Property Manager, Board Member, Neighbor Richard who will be acting in my stead and renting my unit for me) takes over, the wallpaper will come down in all the rooms, and all the awful things that I've been living with for years like the broken cabinetry in the kitchen will be repaired. I will rent this unit out until the market rebounds, at which time I plan to sell it. I'm not coming back. Ever.
The new house is a rental. The plan is to rent until the lease runs out in 18 months, and either buy it (maybe, maybe not depending on the market and also what else it out there) or something else. Eric's legal issues with his ex will hopefully be over and we will be free to make those decisions then. So it's weird to say I'm not ever coming back here when I know that where I am going is as likely not as it is where I will grow my new roots. I don't like to move a lot, and in fact have only lived in two places since I moved out of my parents home. I've lived here - with the exception of the 18 months when we had to rebuild the entire complex in the aftermath of the 1994 Northridge Earthquake - for 23 years. That's a long time.
Risa asked me if I was getting emotional about leaving. In all honesty, I'm not. I'm anxious to move on to my new life. I've learned a lot and grown here; I've grown up here. But I"m ready to go.
Risa even asked me if leaving the place where I lived with and loved my Cosmos so much will hurt. Actually, the whole Cosmos ending still hurts me way beyond I can comprehend and my heart is still broken over it. I've never had such a rough ending with a dog. I've lost dogs to all sorts of health issues, but the uncertainty of Kidney Failure, the feeling that if I just did a little bit more or if I had done it a little bit better which is a part of that syndrome is haunting me. But the fact is that when I have lost other dogs, I've felt their presence in my condo for long periods of time after they passed. I even thought on occasion that I might have seen their ghostly forms. But with Cozie, nothing. Nada. I think he was so done by the time that I released him from the agony of his earthly remains that he had no need to come back. Or maybe, because he did not want to leave me... of that I am absolutely sure, he felt betrayed and that's why he has never been around. But the fact is that except for the ashes in a canister kept where he used to eat, nothing remains of him except memories that still bring me to tears. So in a sense, I will be relieved to leave too. If he is out there somewhere, he can find me. That I am sure of.
No, I have no regrets about moving on. I have never been as sure of anything in my life as I am about my future with Eric. I am terrified of it. I fear that I will not be what he thought I was, that I will not do a good enough job with his kids. I'm scared that Sunny will fall in the pool that comes with the new home and drown, or the kids will leave the front gate and the front door open and Lucy will get out, all the way down to Parthenia, and get hit by a car. I'm afraid I"m not good enough for the opportunity that is being presented to me. But yet I am sure that going in this direction is the best thing that I will ever do, and am hopeful that it will work out. Eric has too much faith in me for it to fail.
So I will bid goodbye to this home and I hope that my friends and neighbors will come with me to my new abode. I would love for it to be a center for entertaining and visiting, and certainly the neighborhood has ample parking (unlike here) and the home has plenty of space for as many friends as I want, all at the same time, with or without their spinning wheels.
I will take Eric's hand and walk into the future, maybe not bravely, but with an assurance that I am doing the right thing. Because I'm sure I am.
See more pictures of our new home by clicking here.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Awesome Annie!!!!!
When Eric & I first agreed that we were going to be married, way before we told anyone, the first thought through my mind is that I wanted my good friend Annie Becwar to be involved in the invitations. She is an extraordinary stamp and embossing artist, making beautiful cards that are much more substantial than the images that show up on the computer in her Etsy Shop, Inkie Annie's Card Corner. I didn't tell Eric right away, but soon thereafter and, as usual, he was his kind self and perfectly agreeable. I contacted her to let her know of my intentions, and over many months as the wedding plans stalled, she played around with ideas and colors for this wonderful occasion.
A couple of weeks ago, we went into Wedding Overdrive, announcing our plans, finding a home (we're moving in just two weeks!), making Wedding reservations at Yosemite, and doing so many more things in preparation that I can hardly believe it. And poor Annie, who had no idea that this sudden buzz of activity was coming (I didn't either), was suddenly tasked with getting the invitations settled and in actual progress quickly. Of course, she rose to the task and here is what she sent me this morning... so many samples to choose from!
How do I even begin to choose? I know that, as beautiful as all these samples are, the real samples that are winging their way towards me by mail now will be even more spectacular. I do have my own preference amongst these gorgeous butterflies, but would love to know your opinion too. Which one, or which combination of samples do you think I should order?
Tell me in the comment section of this e-mail, PLEASE! Your opinion will count.
And I strongly urge you to visit Annie's Card Shop on Etsy; you won't be disappointed. And if you should decide to order something from her, as high as your expectation might be, you'll be in for a happy surprise when your card arrives.
Thank you!!!!!
A couple of weeks ago, we went into Wedding Overdrive, announcing our plans, finding a home (we're moving in just two weeks!), making Wedding reservations at Yosemite, and doing so many more things in preparation that I can hardly believe it. And poor Annie, who had no idea that this sudden buzz of activity was coming (I didn't either), was suddenly tasked with getting the invitations settled and in actual progress quickly. Of course, she rose to the task and here is what she sent me this morning... so many samples to choose from!
Sample 1
Sample 2:
Sample 3
Sample 4
Sample 5
Sample 6
Sample 7
How do I even begin to choose? I know that, as beautiful as all these samples are, the real samples that are winging their way towards me by mail now will be even more spectacular. I do have my own preference amongst these gorgeous butterflies, but would love to know your opinion too. Which one, or which combination of samples do you think I should order?
Tell me in the comment section of this e-mail, PLEASE! Your opinion will count.
And I strongly urge you to visit Annie's Card Shop on Etsy; you won't be disappointed. And if you should decide to order something from her, as high as your expectation might be, you'll be in for a happy surprise when your card arrives.
Thank you!!!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Moving Forward!
Three weeks ago, I was sure it wasn't going to happen. And now, in three weeks, I will be living in a new home with Eric and his family. Especially Eric.
Yes, we met with the real estate agent today and were approved. This was doubly special because there was another person/family/whatever who wanted it too, got their bid in on the same day as ours, but earlier in the day.
The pics that I am putting up are some of the highlights of where we are going to live, but hardly do the house justice in it's quirkyness or funkiness.
I remember last year when Gabby chose Lucy out of all the pound puppies we were considering. Miles was a little disappointed that he didn't get to weigh in on the decision. But after the decision was made, even before we went to get our girl, I told Miles that Lucy was a Black Lab and asked him if he knew what that meant. And you should have seen his eyes open up in wonder when I explained that when he went swimming, she would go swimming with him.
Basketball for the boys. Both Garrett & Miles are in a basketball league. Sadly, the hoop does not come with the home, but Eric & I will make that right quickly so that they (especially Miles) can practice and become league stars.
Richard's tribute to Eric & me at the end of class at Slimmons tonight meant the world to me. I adore Richard and he will always be in my - and our - lives. I would not be in the physical or emotional state that I am; to be able to accept what Eric so freely offers me had it not been for Richard. He gave me a safe place to learn who I am at the same time as I released the normal sized woman out of a morbidly obese body, forgave all my mistakes and trespasses as I learned to interact socially (I seriously had no idea how to communicate or accept friendship and love when I walked in his doors), and encouraged me still to be myself, even more quirky than the home that Eric & I are going to make for ourselves and our family.
I am an incredibly lucky woman, and that fact is something that I will never take for granted. My ups and downs can be very extreme as both incredible experiences and opportunities that most will never touch have found their way to me, even though I have also experienced tragedy beyond comprehension. But in the end, there really is a happy ending, isn't there. I have found my prince and fully intend to live happily ever after.
Except for the part that this is not really the end. It is only the beginning.
Front of the House. Note the fenced in front yard... perfect for containing dogs.
Yes, we met with the real estate agent today and were approved. This was doubly special because there was another person/family/whatever who wanted it too, got their bid in on the same day as ours, but earlier in the day.
Formal Living Room. Note the Enclosed Patio in the middle of the house.
The pics that I am putting up are some of the highlights of where we are going to live, but hardly do the house justice in it's quirkyness or funkiness.
Another view of the formal Living Room. I can see my loom in the far corner.
This all hardly seems to be true. I have been by myself in my condo for the last 23 years, and a few years ago, I "knew" that I would live my whole life out as a solitary woman. And now all this on top of meeting and loving the kindest man I have ever known.
Family Room. With French Doors to the back yard and a window onto the enclosed Patio.
There is so much room in this home. Plenty of space for the kids things... and ours. I can see this being the best loved and best used room in the house. The TV over the fireplace with the controls for all the games and DVD and whatever else Eric has set up wherever he wants to put it. The exercise equipment on the far end of the kitchen, which is in the distance. And Eric & I cooking healthy meals in the kitchen while overseeing happy activities by happy children.
The kitchen. OMG, the KITCHEN! It's a shame that you can't see the uber deluxe stove top in this pic.
This is where Eric & I are both going to find our way back to health and happiness and svelte bodies. I know that together we can make the journey back to goal weight. How can we not when things are going to be so good. After all, if there's anything I have learned over the past several years, it's that weight is directly connected to peace of mind and happiness.
The Dining Nook, just outside of the Kitchen.
I can see some wonderful meals being made in this home.
The Patio.
And it is going to be amazing to spend evenings out here with Eric. We won't have to say goodbye when the moon rises high.
The Pool.
Gabby has agreed to take on the task of teaching Lucy how to swim. She's a Lab, of course, and it shouldn't be difficult. But I doubt she's ever seen a pool in all of her baby life. I only hope she's as happy as this dog who looks so much like her.
I remember last year when Gabby chose Lucy out of all the pound puppies we were considering. Miles was a little disappointed that he didn't get to weigh in on the decision. But after the decision was made, even before we went to get our girl, I told Miles that Lucy was a Black Lab and asked him if he knew what that meant. And you should have seen his eyes open up in wonder when I explained that when he went swimming, she would go swimming with him.
The Master Bedroom. Note the french doors to the back yard.
This will certainly be MY favorite room. Not just because it's large. Not just because it has gabled ceilings and exposed beams. But because when I saw this room, I immediately remembered a certain weekend with a certain man in Cambria and spending the night by a fireplace. That was the first time I had ever had a romantic interlude like that, and now we can be in love by a fire whenever we want.
* * * * * * *
Richard must be reading this blog. Tonight he played a special song just for me at the end of class. He announced it to everyone too, so there was no mistaking it. It's a different version, different artist, but the same song. I had to work really hard not to cry at how sweet Richard was. But it was imperative that I did not; I did not have any eyelash glue to put them back in place if the tears took them off.
Richard's tribute to Eric & me at the end of class at Slimmons tonight meant the world to me. I adore Richard and he will always be in my - and our - lives. I would not be in the physical or emotional state that I am; to be able to accept what Eric so freely offers me had it not been for Richard. He gave me a safe place to learn who I am at the same time as I released the normal sized woman out of a morbidly obese body, forgave all my mistakes and trespasses as I learned to interact socially (I seriously had no idea how to communicate or accept friendship and love when I walked in his doors), and encouraged me still to be myself, even more quirky than the home that Eric & I are going to make for ourselves and our family.
I am an incredibly lucky woman, and that fact is something that I will never take for granted. My ups and downs can be very extreme as both incredible experiences and opportunities that most will never touch have found their way to me, even though I have also experienced tragedy beyond comprehension. But in the end, there really is a happy ending, isn't there. I have found my prince and fully intend to live happily ever after.
Except for the part that this is not really the end. It is only the beginning.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Save The Date!
And so this morning, Eric called and together we decided on our wedding date. We will be leaving for Yosemite on Sunday, October 10, getting married on October 11, and returning to town on Tuesday, the 12th.
Eric is excited, and I admit that I am excited too, but Eric is especially excited (and I admit to being intrigued) because of the binary implications of getting married on 10/11/10. I did not understand binary numbers or any of the other below before Eric explained it to me. Even now I'm not sure I understand it all, but here's what he said:
Our wedding date of 10/11/10 has some interesting mathematical properties:
The sum of the digits is 31, while the decimal equivalent of the binary number 101110 is 29.
Together the numbers (29, 31) form the fifth set of ”twin primes*”. The first four being (3,5), (5,7), (11,13), and (17,19).
These twin prime pairs have some interesting properties themselves:
The sum of the reciprocals of all twin primes converges and is called Brun’s constant in honor of its discovery in 1919 by Viggo Brun. The use of modern computers has allowed this constant to be calculated more accurately. In 1994 the mathematician Thomas Nicely uncovered the infamous “Pentium bug” while refining this constant. Luckily for Intel most Pentium owners did not respond to Intel’s offer of a free replacement, around one million did costing Intel nearly a half billion dollars.
* A pair of prime numbers that differ by 2 (successive odd numbers that are both Prime numbers).
The bottom line is it's really happening, and soon. The only hiccup so far is that I had not considered my Clinical Trial infusion schedule when we chose the date(s), and the October session was scheduled - of course - for Tuesday, October 12. Well, a fast note to Chisom (the Research Nurse) solved it. She checked with the trial people and they agreed that for weddings, we could reschedule. I'll now have the infusion on Tuesday, the 19th, then pick back up with the old dates. Thank you Chisom!!!!!
Next, we have to consider the reception party. That's where all our family and friends get to join us in celebration. We've agreed on Sunday, October 24 as a target date. We have to decide what kind of party we would like, and then I will pull it together. I don't think we can make that decision, though, until we know where we are living. With that out of the way, we will know if a home reception is one of the options or not. Time will tell, but Eric - with the help of the real estate agent we spoke to yesterday - has found a DANDY home already, very close to where we were interested. He is calling her now and trying to set up something so we can see the property quickly. It's within our budget, it's 4000 square feet, 5 bedrooms, and enough bathrooms to make due, even seething with children. And best of all, for the dogs it has a fenced in front yard and for Lucy, even a pool! Oh, if only it's as good as it appears. I'm afraid to get my hopes up too quickly, but it was literally listed today so anything is possible. It's like it was intended for us. Time will tell.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Everyone Has an Opinion!
Another thing that came up last night while waiting for the celebratory fireworks display was that Gabby is actually very excited about us getting married.
Eric has told the kids a few weeks ago; it was not much of a surprise. Garrett - still at his boarding school - said "Great" and moved on to other topics. We had discussed the whole issue with Larry (Garrett's therapist) before telling him, and again after the news was delivered, Eric checked in. Basically, Larry had queried Garrett and after a few questions, Garrett got annoyed and asked him why he keeps bringing the topic up. Did he think this news was a surprise?
Eric told the other three kids of the news with various reactions. Miles apparently was all smiles. Miles is 8 years old; I know that he misses having a Mom more than any of the kids (Marsha very sadly has extremely limited contact). Also, he physically clings to Eric which drives Eric completely insane, he is often in tears, and Eric has a hard time disciplining him. Of all the kids, I may have the greatest effect on Miles, bringing to him a consistency of "parental" action and consequence (both good and bad) with the hope of alleviating most of the uber-anxiety that he clearly feels. He is a wonderful boy who sometimes does bad things, I think mostly to get the attention he is lacking (I've chastised Eric right from the beginning for being too hard on him), and with another parent in the household - albeit me, only a step - my belief is that we can really do some good there. No, I am not his (or any of the kids) "real" mother, but I hope to be a good influence anyway.
Gabby took the wedding news in stride, not objecting, but not feigning surprise either. We later learned that she had been listening in on Eric's "private" phone calls (SO Gabby - lol!), and heard him referring to me as his fiancee on WAY more than once occasion for the past six months. LOL - there are precious few secrets in that household.
Ethan's response was only confusion. "Why did you feel the need to even ask me?" he asked Eric after the other kids left. "Do you think you need my permission?" Eric had a hard time responding to that one. No, he didn't need permission, but he wanted all the children to be able to weigh in on the subject. And that's what he explained to Ethan. In fact, I think that Ethan will be the least effected by my presence. I barely know him as he leads a very secretive and solitary life back in his own room on the computer, only occasionally coming up for air. I'd worry if I didn't know that he had lots of friends, but he does, he also has developed quite the entrepreneurial spirit (just like his dad) as he makes money off of his friends in a variety of very creative ways, and lately he has been accepting invitations for "live and in person" activities too. He also gets good grades in school. My primary task for Ethan, I expect, will be to stay out of his way. Maybe teach him some household skills - like cooking - that will help him get the girl in a year or so. He is manning-up quite nicely and I really respect him.
I made the phone call to Ian. Ian, of course, was not surprised. He had figured out that Eric & I were getting married, and was asking very pointed questions about it before we had ever discussed the topic. I promised him that he would be the first to know any information as soon as there was news to share, and I made good on that promise. Ian was very happy to hear the news, but mostly he was concerned. I had made the call and gotten Adele on the phone; Adele carried the phone up to Ian's room so that we could be on speaker phone and she could share in his reaction when I told him. Ian's response? "When Mommy burst into my room in that way, I was sure that something very adverse had just happened." That's Ian! Oh, but I am so lucky to have him as my favorite nephew! And he would be my favorite, even if he had competition in that department.
Since Eric officially told the kids, Gabby has clearly been putting quite a bit of thought into the ceremony itself. She does not understand the family dynamics involved (she does not need to know of the ultra-crazy relationships and/or lack thereof on my side, nor my horrifying fear that Marsha - Eric's ex - will show up just to ruin the ceremony), and has been scouting out locations and wedding ceremony ideas for us. We knew this to be true a couple of weeks ago when Gabby suggested Ahmanson Ranch as a possible wedding location.
You have to understand that while Eric & I are planning to go away for the actual nuptials themselves, by ourselves, we intend to throw a big party when we get home. Mom had originally offered her back yard. That would have been a dream come true for me because not only does she have an absolutely beautiful house and yard just made for parties, but since Dad's mark is still all over the place, I would have felt like maybe he was present in his own way too. But Mom, typical Mom, the great "Indian giver" (I don't know if this phrase is politically correct anymore; forgive me if it is not, please!) found about 1000 reasons after making the offer to pull it back, and finally was successful by insisting that if we were to have the party in her home, Lisa would absolutely have to be included. Lisa is my sister with whom I have absolutely no relationship, our history is fraught with hurt; I love her and will always be there for her (in the background) if she needs help, but I want nothing to do with her on an overt basis. This wedding party is already going to be stressful enough for me with the potential for in-fighting, and I don't need to include somebody who's very presence will very likely cause embarrassment and/or trouble or hurt. So that did it. Mom's home was out. I am still moved to tears as I write this, but se la vie. We will figure something else out, and quickly.
So when Eric mentioned Ahmanson Ranch as Gabby's first suggestion, I actually got a little start of excitement. Not that I think we necessarily need to go there, but I had been looking at reception locations on line and that was actually one that I would take another look at. Gabby & I, as usual , are on the same page.
It's amazing... we are more on the same track than not most of the time, and although she is really her own person and I think she is too old for me to influence her life much, I can certainly be an advocate for her and help her make her dreams come true. Most of those dreams are not understood at all by her all-men household, as she is one girl with three brothers and a father. And she has a drive to succeed that is foreign to the rest of them. She is a high-achiever and they just don't get it.
So last night, I talked to Gabby about a find that I learned of on Etsy. A shop called Garden of Whimsey.
The owner does all sorts of wonderful work with floral arrangements; I'm thinking that maybe I'll order my bouquet from them (it will work for the wedding itself and can be used two weeks later at the reception too), and maybe I'll order a garland headband for Gabby using what ever flowers she would like,
Maybe a bouquet for Adele too if she would like one and/or a headpiece, and a smaller one for Gabby, and floral collars for the dogs (if the proprietress will willing to go there and we end of having the reception someplace the dogs will be allowed), and a corsage for Mom. The work of April, the artist, is wonderful, and I really would like to support small artists in this venture as much as possible. Check out Garden of Whimsy if you have a chance, and also some of the other incredible resources on Etsy. If you are not familiar with them, you're in for a very pleasant surprise.
Anyway, last night when the talk of registration came up, Gabby was full of excitement at a place/theme that she had located for weddings. Winter Wonderland. She spent a good bit of time showing me images on Eric's phone.
In fact, even though this is probably not a direction that we want to go for the reception and Gabby clearly doesn't "get" yet that there will not be a traditional ceremony that she gets to participate in, the idea is a good one. Sadly, though, I also don't think she understands that Winter Wonderland seems to be a theme rather than an actual location (if I am wrong, please let me know) and it looks to be a might expensive one too. Although I want this wedding and reception to be really fun and memorable, I don't feel the need to spend $50,000 on it. I am not a child, we have other more pressing things to spend Eric's money on (sadly, I come into this partnership on a less than equal financial footing... it's not even close), and I know from Adele and Steve's wedding - the most lovely and memorable wedding I have ever attended - that a wonderful time can be provided on a budget. Eric initially gave me a budget that I don't know if we are going to live by or not... we will need to discuss it again, but I know that I can make whatever work since we will not be having a large, formal nuptial. And with a little luck, we will find a home (the search starts later today) with a yard appropriate that we can have the event there. What a dream that would be!
But the upshot is that Eric is now on board for a serious and lovely - hopefully really casual and fun too! - event and while I am sad that I will not be able to include Mom in much of the planning, not only do I have the resource of Adele, but also Gabby. The three of us will need to sit down and brainstorm the ideas, and assuming that both of them are willing to help (and I think they will be), this should be a lot of fun.
Eric has told the kids a few weeks ago; it was not much of a surprise. Garrett - still at his boarding school - said "Great" and moved on to other topics. We had discussed the whole issue with Larry (Garrett's therapist) before telling him, and again after the news was delivered, Eric checked in. Basically, Larry had queried Garrett and after a few questions, Garrett got annoyed and asked him why he keeps bringing the topic up. Did he think this news was a surprise?
Eric told the other three kids of the news with various reactions. Miles apparently was all smiles. Miles is 8 years old; I know that he misses having a Mom more than any of the kids (Marsha very sadly has extremely limited contact). Also, he physically clings to Eric which drives Eric completely insane, he is often in tears, and Eric has a hard time disciplining him. Of all the kids, I may have the greatest effect on Miles, bringing to him a consistency of "parental" action and consequence (both good and bad) with the hope of alleviating most of the uber-anxiety that he clearly feels. He is a wonderful boy who sometimes does bad things, I think mostly to get the attention he is lacking (I've chastised Eric right from the beginning for being too hard on him), and with another parent in the household - albeit me, only a step - my belief is that we can really do some good there. No, I am not his (or any of the kids) "real" mother, but I hope to be a good influence anyway.
Gabby took the wedding news in stride, not objecting, but not feigning surprise either. We later learned that she had been listening in on Eric's "private" phone calls (SO Gabby - lol!), and heard him referring to me as his fiancee on WAY more than once occasion for the past six months. LOL - there are precious few secrets in that household.
Ethan's response was only confusion. "Why did you feel the need to even ask me?" he asked Eric after the other kids left. "Do you think you need my permission?" Eric had a hard time responding to that one. No, he didn't need permission, but he wanted all the children to be able to weigh in on the subject. And that's what he explained to Ethan. In fact, I think that Ethan will be the least effected by my presence. I barely know him as he leads a very secretive and solitary life back in his own room on the computer, only occasionally coming up for air. I'd worry if I didn't know that he had lots of friends, but he does, he also has developed quite the entrepreneurial spirit (just like his dad) as he makes money off of his friends in a variety of very creative ways, and lately he has been accepting invitations for "live and in person" activities too. He also gets good grades in school. My primary task for Ethan, I expect, will be to stay out of his way. Maybe teach him some household skills - like cooking - that will help him get the girl in a year or so. He is manning-up quite nicely and I really respect him.
I made the phone call to Ian. Ian, of course, was not surprised. He had figured out that Eric & I were getting married, and was asking very pointed questions about it before we had ever discussed the topic. I promised him that he would be the first to know any information as soon as there was news to share, and I made good on that promise. Ian was very happy to hear the news, but mostly he was concerned. I had made the call and gotten Adele on the phone; Adele carried the phone up to Ian's room so that we could be on speaker phone and she could share in his reaction when I told him. Ian's response? "When Mommy burst into my room in that way, I was sure that something very adverse had just happened." That's Ian! Oh, but I am so lucky to have him as my favorite nephew! And he would be my favorite, even if he had competition in that department.
Since Eric officially told the kids, Gabby has clearly been putting quite a bit of thought into the ceremony itself. She does not understand the family dynamics involved (she does not need to know of the ultra-crazy relationships and/or lack thereof on my side, nor my horrifying fear that Marsha - Eric's ex - will show up just to ruin the ceremony), and has been scouting out locations and wedding ceremony ideas for us. We knew this to be true a couple of weeks ago when Gabby suggested Ahmanson Ranch as a possible wedding location.
You have to understand that while Eric & I are planning to go away for the actual nuptials themselves, by ourselves, we intend to throw a big party when we get home. Mom had originally offered her back yard. That would have been a dream come true for me because not only does she have an absolutely beautiful house and yard just made for parties, but since Dad's mark is still all over the place, I would have felt like maybe he was present in his own way too. But Mom, typical Mom, the great "Indian giver" (I don't know if this phrase is politically correct anymore; forgive me if it is not, please!) found about 1000 reasons after making the offer to pull it back, and finally was successful by insisting that if we were to have the party in her home, Lisa would absolutely have to be included. Lisa is my sister with whom I have absolutely no relationship, our history is fraught with hurt; I love her and will always be there for her (in the background) if she needs help, but I want nothing to do with her on an overt basis. This wedding party is already going to be stressful enough for me with the potential for in-fighting, and I don't need to include somebody who's very presence will very likely cause embarrassment and/or trouble or hurt. So that did it. Mom's home was out. I am still moved to tears as I write this, but se la vie. We will figure something else out, and quickly.
So when Eric mentioned Ahmanson Ranch as Gabby's first suggestion, I actually got a little start of excitement. Not that I think we necessarily need to go there, but I had been looking at reception locations on line and that was actually one that I would take another look at. Gabby & I, as usual , are on the same page.
It's amazing... we are more on the same track than not most of the time, and although she is really her own person and I think she is too old for me to influence her life much, I can certainly be an advocate for her and help her make her dreams come true. Most of those dreams are not understood at all by her all-men household, as she is one girl with three brothers and a father. And she has a drive to succeed that is foreign to the rest of them. She is a high-achiever and they just don't get it.
So last night, I talked to Gabby about a find that I learned of on Etsy. A shop called Garden of Whimsey.
Maybe a bouquet for Adele too if she would like one and/or a headpiece, and a smaller one for Gabby, and floral collars for the dogs (if the proprietress will willing to go there and we end of having the reception someplace the dogs will be allowed), and a corsage for Mom. The work of April, the artist, is wonderful, and I really would like to support small artists in this venture as much as possible. Check out Garden of Whimsy if you have a chance, and also some of the other incredible resources on Etsy. If you are not familiar with them, you're in for a very pleasant surprise.
Anyway, last night when the talk of registration came up, Gabby was full of excitement at a place/theme that she had located for weddings. Winter Wonderland. She spent a good bit of time showing me images on Eric's phone.
In fact, even though this is probably not a direction that we want to go for the reception and Gabby clearly doesn't "get" yet that there will not be a traditional ceremony that she gets to participate in, the idea is a good one. Sadly, though, I also don't think she understands that Winter Wonderland seems to be a theme rather than an actual location (if I am wrong, please let me know) and it looks to be a might expensive one too. Although I want this wedding and reception to be really fun and memorable, I don't feel the need to spend $50,000 on it. I am not a child, we have other more pressing things to spend Eric's money on (sadly, I come into this partnership on a less than equal financial footing... it's not even close), and I know from Adele and Steve's wedding - the most lovely and memorable wedding I have ever attended - that a wonderful time can be provided on a budget. Eric initially gave me a budget that I don't know if we are going to live by or not... we will need to discuss it again, but I know that I can make whatever work since we will not be having a large, formal nuptial. And with a little luck, we will find a home (the search starts later today) with a yard appropriate that we can have the event there. What a dream that would be!
But the upshot is that Eric is now on board for a serious and lovely - hopefully really casual and fun too! - event and while I am sad that I will not be able to include Mom in much of the planning, not only do I have the resource of Adele, but also Gabby. The three of us will need to sit down and brainstorm the ideas, and assuming that both of them are willing to help (and I think they will be), this should be a lot of fun.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Making Plans and Registration
It's the 4th of July, and as we do each year, we meet with family and friends in Warner Park for a concert and fireworks. It's weird. This is the third year that I have attended "not single." But it's the first year that I've attended engaged to be married.
As most of my readers so far know, I finally made our engagement very public just a few days ago (although Eric still owes me a "proper" proposal after the ring comes), and we have suddenly gone from life in the slow lane to overdrive. Indeed, we are driving up to the neighborhood we intend to live in tomorrow to contract a real estate agent to find us a home. We need to move in August; L.A. Unified School District starts their semester before Labor Day. And we're talking an October Wedding.
Eric & I have had some emotional discussions about it. Frankly, he's been through this before, and really doesn't care about the where and how. I don't think he understood until a few days ago what a big deal I consider this. I want it beautiful and memorable, no jokes. This is my one-and-only marriage, I'm coming to it late in life, and I want to be able to talk about it with pride and remember it with a glow in my heart. But now that he understands, he is doing everything he can to make this right.
Tonight after we arrived at the park, Kim greeted us with glee, congratulating us both. We set up our tables, food, and sat down, and that's when Eric told me. The Awhanee Hotel in Yosemite National Park has a "Romantic Package." We had been talking about getting married there and now this was the icing on the cake.
Kim asked us when the date was going to be; I didn't, as usual, have an answer. But Eric whispered to me that he was thinking maybe October 12. That works for me! And yippee! Now I can contact a dress shop and see if a wedding dress is even possible at this late date. I will post on that when I have more information.
But then Kim dropped the bombshell. Where are we registering at?
Registering? I hadn't even thought about it. We're middle aged, merging two complete households together,and what would we register for? The things that we will likely need will certainly fall outside of any reasonable budget. But Kim was not to be dissuaded. "You came to our wedding 25 years ago and gave us a wedding gift. Now it's time for us to repay the favor."
I was perplexed; I mentioned this to Eric, who sat silently for maybe three or four minutes. Then his face lighted up. "Tell her we are registering at the Medical Marijuana Place in Woodland Hills." And so I did.
Adele was surprised to learn that such a place existed so close to her home. (It does.)
Of course, this information was greeted with peals of laughter by everyone who heard! And I returned to Eric's side, only to have Kim tell me a few minutes later that she could not buy us a gift there because she does not have a Medical Marijuana Card. But Eric had the perfect retort. "Just deposit money into my account. It will be like a gift card and we will redeem it later."
And so you have it - lol! We know the very first "store" that we will be registering in!
As most of my readers so far know, I finally made our engagement very public just a few days ago (although Eric still owes me a "proper" proposal after the ring comes), and we have suddenly gone from life in the slow lane to overdrive. Indeed, we are driving up to the neighborhood we intend to live in tomorrow to contract a real estate agent to find us a home. We need to move in August; L.A. Unified School District starts their semester before Labor Day. And we're talking an October Wedding.
Eric & I have had some emotional discussions about it. Frankly, he's been through this before, and really doesn't care about the where and how. I don't think he understood until a few days ago what a big deal I consider this. I want it beautiful and memorable, no jokes. This is my one-and-only marriage, I'm coming to it late in life, and I want to be able to talk about it with pride and remember it with a glow in my heart. But now that he understands, he is doing everything he can to make this right.
But then Kim dropped the bombshell. Where are we registering at?
Registering? I hadn't even thought about it. We're middle aged, merging two complete households together,and what would we register for? The things that we will likely need will certainly fall outside of any reasonable budget. But Kim was not to be dissuaded. "You came to our wedding 25 years ago and gave us a wedding gift. Now it's time for us to repay the favor."
I was perplexed; I mentioned this to Eric, who sat silently for maybe three or four minutes. Then his face lighted up. "Tell her we are registering at the Medical Marijuana Place in Woodland Hills." And so I did.
Adele was surprised to learn that such a place existed so close to her home. (It does.)
Of course, this information was greeted with peals of laughter by everyone who heard! And I returned to Eric's side, only to have Kim tell me a few minutes later that she could not buy us a gift there because she does not have a Medical Marijuana Card. But Eric had the perfect retort. "Just deposit money into my account. It will be like a gift card and we will redeem it later."
And so you have it - lol! We know the very first "store" that we will be registering in!
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